I received an e-mail from a follower and friend asking if I could write about something she wanted help with. This is what she asked, “Could you write about feeling comfortable around those who you don't feel comfortable around or are afraid to be yourself around?” I contemplated this for a while trying to figure out a response, how to answer such a difficult question. I don’t know that I can answer the question, but maybe this will help.
I have learnt in life that we cannot make people like us or even be nice to us, but if we’re not ourselves are we really giving them a fair chance? I have tried before in past relationships (friends, family and lovers) to be what they wanted me to be, to “FIT” into the mold of what I thought they wanted and that never worked out for me. I was always left feeling hurt and misunderstood.
Through reflection I was able to figure out who I wanted to be and start on my path to become that person (it’s a very long path). Once that was decided, it didn’t necessarily make things easier, but I developed clear boundaries and stuck to them.
I have surrounded myself with people who not only love me, but like me for me as well, the real me. When I am around new people, I try and read them to figure out what level of “Tasha” they can handle, but I am always me.
I know it is impossible to eliminate people who don’t see eye to eye with you or even like you from our lives, but we can change how we let them affect us. You should never be afraid of being yourself, start with loving who you are and go from there. Figure out your boundaries and stick to them. Everyone is nervous or uncomfortable at some point or another but we shouldn’t be in our own skin.
Sometimes in life we get into patterns or situations where we end up feeling like we have lost our identity. If this is the case, take what you have learnt, add to it and grow the new you. Know that every situation, encounter and decision is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and grow.
You are an amazing, smart, giving person; you just need to see that and the rest will fall into place. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you. You may just find that the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more it will reflect in your relationships with others.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. Aristotle