Sunday, October 30, 2011

Accessorize with personality

With so many people focused on clothes, purses, shoes  and all other materialistic accessories it’s easy for our personality to be brushed aside and the focus put on our great new look rather than our great personalities. So why don’t we accessorize with our personality first and if you did what would you showcase?

We put so much emphasis on what we’re wearing that it becomes way more than just a great sense of style, it’s the girl with the LV purse, great UGGs or fabulous makeup/hair. People have started to replace personality traits with fashion items when describing a person; when did that happen? So much time is spent on how we look and if people are going to like how we look rather than if people are going to like us for who we are. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be known as the women with a great sense of humour, rather than a great pair of shoes.

Compassionate, Trustworthy, Giving
So what if you were stripped of your trendy clothes, accessories, makeup and hair products; the way you wake up in the morning is the way everyone would see you. What personality traits would you accessorize with? Are you cheerful, considerate, punctual, unselfish or courageous? What about creative, dynamic, personable or trustworthy?

Don’t get me wrong I like shiny pretty new things, but I also like knowing a person for who they are and not who they are wearing. My hope is that when I meet someone my personality leave’s more of an impression then what I was wearing and that I take away an impression of who that person was in return.

How fantastic would it be if we all spent as much time working on ourselves as a person as we did working on our look? If we all accepted that an accessory is just that and we are the main attraction? I personally think that the world would be a much better place, what about you?

Lotsa Love,

P.S Write down your top three favorite attributes or traits in the comment section and share with everyone how wonderful you are!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Keeping "Love" Sexy

Whether you’re struggling with conceiving, been together for a long time or are just in a personal rut; it can be very easy to leave out the sexy part of “Love”. So what do we do when we get busy, are upset or just in a funk?

In my quest to try and get pregnant I got completely lost in calendars, cycles and rules of trying to conceive. It got to the point where my husband pointed out that he felt I only wanted to have “Love” if it was a scheduled baby making activity. I was so determined and focused that I completely left out spontaneity, effort and sexiness. That was not my intention, but I got completely lost in my need to have a baby.

I know this isn’t an uncommon issue with couples trying to conceive and I know it’s not just an issue with wanting to have a baby. When we aren’t feeling our best; emotionally or physically we can forget that there is another person in our relationship who we are neglecting. In many cases when we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, we can forget the sparkle that should be included in “Love”!

Personal stress, unhappiness with one’s self and even boredom can lead to not feeling sexy yourself. I know that if I don’t feel sexy I’m much less apt to wanting to put effort in or even thinking about ”Love”.  But is it your partner’s fault that you’re feeling that way? It’s up to us to feel good about ourselves and opening conversation with our loved one about how we’re feeling can resolve a lot of issues. Yes a person’s compliments or advances can encourage us in feeling a certain way, but ultimately how we feel about ourselves, how we see ourselves is going to be the deciding factor in feeling sexy.

So what can we do?

If it’s a personal issue, take a deep look at why you’re feeling the way you are.  Talk to someone about it; a professional, friend, family member or even…your partner. It can be very easy to get into a funk or a rut. Personally I am comfortable with myself no matter how I look (I rock a jumping jammer like nobody’s business lol), however I notice that when I’m exercising and eating well I feel better all around; my energy levels are up, I’m happier and I just feel great.  
Sometimes we can lose our identities; we become a spouse, parent or get consumed by our jobs. If this is the case take your identity back, remember you are more than a title; your also a women or man. If it’s been so long you forget who you are, create a new identity; who do you want to be and work towards it.

Stress can be a huge sexy buster! If its work stress, why are you bringing it home; Is it your spouse’s fault you had a deal gone bad? If it’s a home stress talk it out and remember that “Love” is a great stress reliever.

If you are trying to conceive and are attached to a calendar try and spice it up. I know it’s hard but try and bring some sparkle back into the stressful experience of trying to conceive. Light candles, play some sexy music and remember why you want to have that baby; because you love your partner and want to create something special together, so make the experience magical instead of mechanical.

With my upcoming IVF treatment around the corner and every bit of my life about to be scheduled I know that it will take effort, spontaneity and magic to keep our relationship sexy. I know you’re thinking “Tasha what’s not sexy about needles, hormones and scheduled “Love”?” lol right?

It can be easy to get caught up in life and get complacent; but try and remember the spark that first attracted you to your partner.  Remember when you used to shave every time you thought you might see them, always made sure you looked great and courted your spouse? Well they do too and they miss that. I love that when you’re in a certain part of your relationship you are comfortable with each other, my hubby and I watch movies in jumping jammers lol. But I also think that we need to keep the sparkle in our relationship regardless of the length of time we are together.

So…If you’ve lost your sexy, bring it back! Bust out that lingerie, dust off those candles, play some sexy music, buy your honey a gift just cause you were thinking of them and remember that sometimes the little things are the ones that count the most. Listen to what your partner is saying and keep those lines of communication open. Because what fun is “Love” if there’s no sexy in it?

Lotsa Love,

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Flight or Fight?

When we are fear stricken by our phobias do we face them or accept that they are a part of who we are? No matter how silly or ridiculous some phobias may seem to outsiders the fear is very real to the person experiencing it and can even be debilitating. So how do we deal with the phobias and the people who just don’t understand?

Heights, small enclosed spaces, snakes, spiders and frogs (yes you read that last one right) are on my list of things that terrify me. Most people understand most of my fears; however my fear of frogs tends to get more laughs then understanding and comfort.

I almost gave up a trip to Costa Rica because of my phobias, knowing that everything I’m afraid of would be in my face and a lot bigger then home made me say no to an amazing trip the first time asked. It wasn’t until a few glasses of wine and my mom and sister coaxing me that I finally said yes to an amazing experience. Once in Costa Rica, I barely lasted a few days; we were smack dab in the middle of a rain forest on a biodynamic farm and were literally living with creepy crawlies. I was terrified to sleep and with a heavy schedule of yoga, crazy volcano hikes and other extremely exhausting activities I was physically and emotionally drained; missing my hubby I almost booked a flight home cutting my 15 day trip extremely short. I had to tell myself “ok so either you can suck it up and try to enjoy paradise or you can run home and never know what you are capable of”. Well I sucked it up and tried all the activities I originally said no too; zip lining over the rainforest, rappelling down a 350ft waterfall, crazy hikes and exploring the rainforest. I am sure I gave the night guard years of laughter seeing me trying to be brave and venturing outside of my cabin past night fall, screaming and running from frogs, snakes and giant bugs. But I did it and was actually able to sleep through the night.

I think I can...I think I can!
Since my trip; my fear of heights is a lot better and little spiders don’t terrify me anymore, I’ve made some great progress with those fears. However my frog fear is still as strong as ever. I cannot even rationalize it to myself. I am well aware that I am very big and they are very small and that (the ones in Canada) they can’t hurt me. But, when I see one my heart starts racing, I get anxious, feel like I’m going to cry or scream and if I lose track of where it’s gone I have to flee the area. This is why I don’t garden…lol

In my experience, both facing my fears and accepting them has worked for me. I think the best advice is to listen to your body, know your limits, which ones you can test and push and which ones are there for a reason. I’m glad I was pushed to go zip lining and challenge my fear of heights, the rush I got from flying through the air above the rain forest was amazing, and it was utterly breathtaking. However if someone tried to push me into a situation with frogs I would lose my…after I was able to breathe again.

If people never changed, the world would be an incredibly boring place. We evolve, “grow up”, move on, our tastes change and we experience life, this is what makes us so unique. What defines us can change, so why can’t our fears?

Whether you’re afraid of squirrels, june bugs, snakes, needles, garden gnomes or frogs; know that it is your fear and its ok. Don’t let people make you feel bad about having a phobia, regardless if they can’t understand it.  Challenge yourself and grow; but know it is ok to be you, even if that means running scared from a frog!

Lotsa Love,

Monday, October 17, 2011

Cloud Nine

What a crazy couples  of weeks this has been; turning thirty, making top five for win a baby and then all top five finalist winning, wow! I don’t know if I’ll ever come off of this cloud!

Ryan and I are over the moon about being given the chance to go through IVF and try to have a baby. I told my husband the other day that I can’t believe how excited I am for so many needles and procedures lol. I am still almost stunned by the announcement that we all get to go through the IVF treatments.

We have booked our first appointment to go through paperwork for IVF and get set up for the course for IVF; and are going through the motions, but it is still so surreal. When you tell yourself that something, something as big as having children together, might not happen you start to believe it, little by little your hope starts to slip away and you decide to “face the facts”. So what happens when you face the facts and then you’re told the facts were wrong and you now have a chance? You cry, smile, laugh and then try to accept the new facts. The new facts are Ryan and I could have a baby in the very near future!

Now all the critics are saying we haven’t “won a baby”, I’m well aware of that! We are absolutely clear on the success rate and what our chances are of conceiving; we also have a great deal of hope! It would be wonderful if people would stop trying to rain on our parade and instead of picking apart what an amazing thing Hot 89.9 did, could focus on the fact that five couples were given back hope and such an amazing opportunity. To say that we were exploited or objectified, would be absolutely false and takes away from the fact that every applicant made a choice to apply to the contest and were not forced to do anything.

Thanks to this amazing contest our future is a lot brighter and exciting! Ryan and I cannot wait to embark on this new adventure together, no matter how hormonal it might be J. We look forward to sharing it will all of our family, friends and supporters. The love and compassion that we felt during this whole process, not only from family and friends, but from complete strangers and Hot 89.9 staff was immense and will never be forgot.

If everyone could do not only me, but every other couple suffering from infertility a favor and take a few minutes from your day and sign this petition to have OHIP fund IVF we would all be  forever grateful!

We look forward to sharing in this experience with all of you and cannot wait to take our next step in this crazy adventure that is our lives.

Lotsa Love,

Friday, October 7, 2011

30 things i'm thankful for

Being as my birthday always seems to fall on Thanksgiving weekend I thought it would be appropriate celebrating my big 30 that I should take stock and share the 30 things I’m thankful for.  Hope you enjoy!

Seasons- Reminding me that everything changes, grows and darkness gets replaced by light.


Luck of my birthdays- 8 years ago Ryan and I met in our apartment elevator in Toronto, 7 years ago he proposed.

Our Health- Other than the few uncooperative bits.

Date nights- Keeps me sane!

In Laws- I am incredibly lucky to say I have the best in laws a gal could wish for. Ryan’s mom and dad are a true testament to love and reminder that not all good things come to an end.

My Family- However crazy they may be ;) the love my family has is incomparable!

Bailey- And all the other fantastic family dogs. She is my cuddle monster and my protector.

That I still get I.D- OH YA

Places- The places I’ve been able to explore, every place teaching me something new about myself.

Nosy Neighbors- They make me feel safe every day.

Family and friends who lend me their babies- When I need a little munchkin love J

My Crazy Twenties

Fears- The ability to face them or to know they are there for a reason and the ability to run.

My Mom- Who allowed me to jump in puddles, dance in the rain and play the same Whitney Houston How Do I Know single over and over, while dancing and singing in the mirrors.

Sunday Family Dinners

My Strength- And not talking physical cause I’m kinda a weenie in that dept.

Friends- Old and new that not only love me for who I am but encourage my special behavior.

Compassion of Strangers

Voice- The ability to speak up when it might be easier to be quiet.

Win A Baby- Even though we may not win, Hot 89.9 contest has renewed our hope.

Sunshine- That warms your face and picks you up.

Rainy Days- For cuddling and sleeping in.

My Guardian Angel- Who has been watching over me and guiding me outta some crazy spots.

Girly Shows/Movies

Books- That inspire me to write.

Conceivable Dreams- And other groups/organizations fighting for OHIP to fund IVF.

Social Media- I have some pretty cool people and made some great connections.

Lazy Cottage Weekends- When you need to let loose or wind down.

My Man- Ryan who is my everything.

To the people and places that have made me who I am Thank You! I think that it’s incredibly important to take a moment or a few, take stock and truly think about the things in our world that make us thankful.

What are you thankful for?

Lotsa Love,

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Being Couple “A”

Words probably cannot justly describe the range of emotions we have felt since The New Hot 89.9 deadline for applications closed on Wednesday September 28th, but I’m going to give it a try anyways.  

A couple of weeks ago I received a frantic call from my mom and sister telling me that I was going to “Win a baby”. Once I calmed them down they told me about the contest announcement that I missed while at work and I immediately went to the website downloaded the application and let myself think for a moment; “What if? Could we actually be parents?’

My Husband, Ryan, and I have been married for over five years now and have been trying to conceive for just as long. We have never been pregnant and after a while knew something just wasn’t right. When I was seventeen I had my appendix removed and then with complications was in the hospital off and on for six months, two more surgeries and a stay to deal with some adhesions (sticky scar tissue). I was told then that my surgeries would not affect my ability to have children and not to worry. My family doctor suspected that my scar tissue might be just that, our problem. After multiple tests and trying every imaginable options (diets, supplements, you name it) we were referred to a fertility clinic. Our family doctors suspicions were accurate, my scar tissue (adhesions) are restricting movement of my fallopian tubes and not allowing my eggs to get where they need to be; on top of that we found out Ryan has low sperm motility (slow sperm), one of these problems alone could be cause for lack of conception, little own both. During our first consult we were advised about IVF and I was told about exploratory surgeries that can laser remove scar tissue, possibly ridding me of my fertility problems, this gave us hope. After our specialist got a hold of my surgery records he called me in for another consult and advised me that the risks of surgery were too high and he couldn’t do the surgery. Being told that our best and maybe only shot of having a baby would be to go through IVF a procedure that would cost us approximately 10,000 dollars and being stripped of our hope Ryan and I were devastated. We are very lucky to have amazingly supportive family and friends who helped us get through the tough news and think positive.

Knowing the amount of entrants would be great we were hopeful but unsure about our fate in the win a baby contest. As soon as the clock hit twelve noon on Wednesday and the contest deadline closed my heart raced and I anxiously clutched my phone. Thursday came , the original date hot 89.9 was supposed to notify couples and start the Fertility consults, and I was up at the crack of dawn clutching my phone and frantically checking my e-mail. I had told myself that if we hadn’t heard anything by noon that we probably wouldn’t hear. My husband and I sat quietly watching the clock neither of us wanting to make eye contact once the clock was past noon. Family was over in a flash and we were consoled, we had date night that evening with our closest friends to try and take our mind off of not making top five. After finally accepting we didn’t qualify I see on twitter Friday that Hot 89.9 hadn’t announced the top five and that they hadn’t chosen yet either. I immediately contacted friends and family letting them know we still had a chance, I on the other hand having convinced myself otherwise still felt like we didn’t make it. Sunday was nerve racking and Monday morning was Crazy! I was just getting ready to jump in the shower when my phone started to ring, an unknown Ottawa number. My heart almost exploded. I answered the phone and heard Mauler from the Morning hot tub, it was happening we were couple “A” and one of the top five finalist; anyone who heard the morning calls knows how I handled it. We were overwhelmed and really still today have moments where we don’t believe it’s true. One of the best parts was telling everyone we were in the top five, seeing and hearing our family and friends reactions was amazing.

With over 400 applicants to this contest alone and 1 in 6 couples suffering from infertility in Ontario, I am so glad that someone, The New Hot 89.9, finally stepped up to help. Help raise awareness and help a couple have a baby. Never in my time, have I remembered anyone speaking this loud about fertility problems, it is a painful and private issue, but without speaking about it we can’t do anything to fix it. Many other countries and even Quebec fund IVF treatments for couples who suffer with fertility problems, so why doesn’t Ontario? The government funded a study in 2009 where they were advised “That they could not afford not to fund IVF”, additional studies have been done stating that the government could save up to 600 million dollars by funding IVF treatments through OHIP, so again why don’t they? Conceivable Dreams is the Coalition for OHIP for IVF, they have a website where you can get information on the matter and an easy to send letter to the government advising them this is an issue that needs to be addressed! If you know someone like Ryan and I who is having problems or you suffer from fertility problems, or even if you want the government to save 600 million dollars in health care cost; please speak up and tell the government you want IVF funded by OHIP!

Regardless of how the contest ends we will always be thankful for our supportive family and friends who may end up with carpel tunnel, the awareness this has brought to this issue and Hot 89.9 giving us our hope back, because it’s a dark place without it.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me, I will try to help as best as possible.

Lotsa Love,