New house Happy baby

On a regular Wednesday I came home from work to an anxious pacing husband. My initial thought was "what did I do"...lol. So I ask him (still in my coat and boots) "how was your day?" His response in a sketchy tone let me add "interesting!" He then passes me his iPad with house pictures on it... Not our house. Very confused I look up at him for some kind of clue and just see anxiety. So I ask what I'm looking at and Ryan responds with "what do you think of the house?" This very confusing situation played out for a bit. Keep in mind previous to that Wednesday we'd never seriously talked about moving. We'd both thought of it, as we had seriously outgrown our old house...Knox kinda took over our little house.

Living room/playroom/dinning room
 in the old house

The very next day I had a appointment in Ottawa with Knox, on our way home Ryan told me to swing by our house and pick him up to go see the house from the iPad lol. Well we fell in love with the character, warmth and possibilities of the house... oh yes and our adorably excited and happy baby running around the spacious house clapping and giggling. I think it is safe to say that we were instantly sold on the house... because that Saturday we started to move in.

Now almost three weeks later we are almost all moved in. Knox still runs around smiling from ear to ear, excited by all his new found space and freedom. Hes since learned how to climb stairs and now everything else. He loves finding new corners or spaces and playing peekaboo.

Part of Knox play area in the New House.
Now doesn't he look happy?

We are over the moon with our new house and super happy baby, even Bailey has a ton more space (our lab/retriever ). A new year and a new house... We cannot wait to see what else our fabulous 2014 will bring!

Lotsa Love
Natasha

The very next day I had a doctors appointment in Ottawa for Knox and as we were coming home Ryan told me to swing by and pick him up to go look at the house. Well we all fell in love with the space, character, possibilities and the very happy baby running around giggling throughout the house. I think it's safe to say we were instantly sold on it because that Saturday we moved in. Almost 3 weeks later we are still working on both places but feeling completely at home and loving watching our little guy happily run around with all his new space! New year...new house. What else will 2014 bring us? Can't wait to see! 

Parenting is comical

After a ridiculously long hiatus from writing on my blog I was at a point trying to decide whether it was something I was going to commit to or give up. The same day I decide to commit to write on my blog twice a week my lovely sister in law Charly sends me this hilarious story about her day. And I thought... What better way to start back up my blog??!?! Hilarious embarrassing parenting story... Check! 

Enjoy!

Parenting story of the day: Decided to give H tons of bath toys tonight so she could have a super bath time experience and also to keep her amused because I had I in the bathroom with me and these days he's a little unpredictable. I set I up in his whale tub with a blanket figuring it would make a good seat for him while H bathed. I grabbed everything I needed Jammie's, diapers, wipes for both kids and thought to myself this is easy I can do this, 2 kids no problem! H was playing for awhile and I was starting to fuss so I started nursing while H played in the bath. Not ideal time to nurse but kinda good because she couldn't go anywhere. Then I see H releasing little fart air bubbles into the bath. I had just said to her moments before that her belly looked pretty full so I figured she was gassy. We discussed her tooting for a minute as she repeated the word tooting to me and giggled as though she just discovered that farting especially farting in the tub was now funny. I reminded her not to poop in the tub and then quicker than I could have anticipated H got into a squatting position and loads of little poop cannons shot their way into her clean bath water. Totally unprepared to do anything but watch it happen because I was cozily nursing in my arms. H stood up said she was done and then quickly wanted to depart her now poop filled tub. I abruptly ended I's feeding and told him sorry buddy gotta take care of this (thankfully i sensed he knew something was up because he just looked at me bright eyed and sweet with a no problem Mommy I'll wait look) so I grabbed H and told her to go grab a book while I played a game of dodging poop cannons and fishing out all of H's gazillion toys. 

I successfully fished out her toys and hit the plug dreading the next step because I'd actually have to manage the poop. I looked over at H and she was super content looking at a book and I stared at me dreamily happy with his semi-milk coma. 

I drew my attention to the draining tub and started catching the poop cannons with a cup. I did a quick check back at H and I and that's when I saw H squatting again with a book on the floor in front of her with a puddle growing by the second. My mistake entirely, I should have known better than to leave her free without a diaper but I was a little distracted by the state of my bathtub. I grabbed a towel threw it under her, chucked her book away from the quickly approaching pee puddle and gave her bottom half a good wipe down with a wipe since putting her back in the tub wasn't an option at the moment. Put her diaper on, washed the floor and we were back to the poop business. The tub had entirely drained so my only option was to physically touch the poop cannons. I'd be lying if I didn't say it made my stomach turn a bit each time I held a nugget in my hand (with toilet paper) to transfer it to the toilet. 

I sprayed down the tub once they'd all been retrieved and brought to their proper home- the toilet! Order restored! I got H dressed, hair brushed. Awe crisis averted. I had H play while I dressed I in his Jammie's. Then I sat down to start feeding I starting to relax and then he vomited on me. I guess I should have burped him before abruptly putting him down. I feel so sexy right now :)

Moral of the story: Parenting is comical. 

Lol yes it is Charly

Lotsa love,
Natasha 

Happy Birthday

So I am a bit behind in this post...a lot behind in posting in general. Going back to work and trying to start up my own company has been keeping me busy on top of all my other family duties.

On November 11th my little miracle baby turned 1! I cannot get over how the time has flown by. For his birthday I compiled all his month pictures and order a poster. Hi birthday party was awesome, who wouldn't have a awesome time with my little man? So I thought let me share his month pictures and lets look back at a year in Knox life!

Knox is born

1 month and growing so big

2 months and starting to show his personality

3 months. SOOOO cute

4 months look at those big eyes

5 months

6 months and still one of my favorite pictures!

7 months and on the move

8 months paying homage to the win a baby contest

9 months such a big boy

10 months pictures are getting harder to get still lol

11 months look at all those teeth

12 months! My littme miracle baby is 1 year old!

I Love that you have been able to come along on this journey with us and hope you will continue too!

Lotsa Love

Natasha

Summer Fun

WOOHOO SUMMER IS HERE!

Always my happiest at the water!

I appreciate all the seasons that we are lucky enough to enjoy as Canadians, but being the water baby I am, summer is my favorite! Even though this summer will be very different for us then all the others we've enjoyed , I am so excited to have fun with our little boy, Knox, and explore all that the summer has to offer with him!

Some of my fondest memories as a child are in the summer time! Camping, playing at the park, swimming at our cottage or having pool parties with friends. My ultimate favorite is my cottage, I can remember spending weeks at a time up there! We would swim, water ski, explore the woods, pick wild raspberries, camp fires, canoeing and oh so much more! I would fill my days so much that by the night I would crash and recharge for the next day. This evolved a little over the years, but I still enjoy all the outdoor fun and even in my last trimester of my pregnancy I was still the last one in the water at the end of the day.

The guys and poochies loving the summer sun!

Even though Knox is still very little ( 7 months ) and wont remember our summer fun probably for the next couple of years, I am so excited to enjoy our first summer with him! We've already been lucky enough to have him in the water at one of our close friends pools and the park is on our agenda whenever the weather permits. He experienced his first bonfire at the cottage in the late spring, he starred at the flames and Glamma ( my mom) danced around with him till finally the warmth of the fire and Glamma's dancing skills lulled him to sleep. 

Our first swim together!

Safety conscious DaDa was feeling a little overwhelmed about summer dangers, so I have purchased Knox's first life jacket, baby bug repellent, sun screen, uv/bug nets, quick drying hats for the water, swim suits and more. I think we are ready...lol

With Knox on the brink of crawling I can only imagine that this will be a busy, but fun summer. I plan on enjoying every minute of it an soaking up my summer off with my boy. I think its so important we pass on what we love to our children and I cannot wait to share all my loves with Knox and get to learn his.

Lotsa Love,

Natasha 

What are some of your summer memories? Any big plans this summer?

These are a few of my favorite things

We are all great at appreciating and celebrating all the things in our lives on special days, like New Years, Birthdays or Christmas. But what about the little things we look forward too or make our hearts warm on a regular basis? Things that you wouldn't normally take time to appreciate.

This morning as I held my son and fed him his bottle he looked up at me ran his fingers through my hair and smiled with his eyes, saying "I love you momma"! My heart melted thinking this was such a special moment and then I realized that yes this was special but happened regularly. Are we too busy every day to realize that we have such sweet moments all the time?

So I took some time and thought about my every day, what do I do, what makes me happy? Here is a few of my favorite daily occurrences.

Checking something off of my list- Seems trivial but the feeling of accomplishment is great and I love when I can finally check something off my list that has been nagging me for some time.

Daddy's home- I say those words and my house explodes with happiness. Bailey starts running around picking up shoes, I bring Knox to the window to see Ryan getting out of the car and he starts bouncing and I love when my honey is finally home for the day!

A sip of happy- That first sip of coffee in the morning, I don't know what it is. Maybe a bit of ritual, something familiar, but I love it!

Me and My love bug 

Say Cheese- We have this daily ritual of sending out a picture of Knox to the grandparents every day. May sound like a lot, but its great! They get to see him every day and I have a picture of him everyday from birth, how awesome is that.

Discovery- Watching Knox discover the world every day is amazing! It may be something little or a huge milestone. But getting to see the world through his eyes is breath taking!

Hi- My daily chats with family and friends. Something as little as a comment on Facebook to a lengthy in person conversation. I love the feeling that we are always connected.

YA YA YA- This one may not happen every day, but I am fortunate enough that it happens regularly. My niece and god baby Harper who is almost One, is this incredible source of light. She always brings a smile to my face. My favorite is when I visit and she sees me, she lets out this squeal of glee, starts chanting "YA YA YA" and (depending on if shes in her high chair or free to run) starts banging her hands and dancing or bolts right for me. This leaves me with an incredible feeling and I know I am loved by her.

This list could go on forever and I'm probably missing a few biggies, but I just wanted to share my list and maybe get you thinking about your own. What is great in your day to day life? I'd love if you'd share!

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

Parent knows best!

One thing that I noticed as a first time parent is that everyone wants to offer up advice, solicited or otherwise.  I am sure that all this advice is well intended, sometimes it can be overwhelming and contradictory to what your planning for your little one. On top of information given from other parents there is tons of information you can access through books, apps and online articles. So how do you filter through everything and get down to whats right for you and baby?

I love to read, so I have read countless articles etc... on everything labor, parenting and baby related that I can get my hands on. There is a lot of information and a lot of it is contradictory and opinion based. It took me a bit to figure it out but once I did its been way easier. My super secret is... Do whats right for you and baby! It sounds simple, but can get complicated.

Sleeping like a baby

Just like anything else I want to make a decision on I research, ask for opinions and collect as much data as I can. As a first time parent it can be overwhelming, no one wants to make a mistake. Once I realized that its hopeless...lol That everyone makes mistakes then I relaxed a bit and got down to figuring out what works best for us. Just like grownups, babies have there own personalities, likes, dislikes and schedules. I struggled with sleep for months until after lots of reading decided to try Knox on his belly, as he would only sleep an hour or two on his back. Once flipped he slept 3, then 4, then 7 and now 8-10 hours a night. Miracle??? Or just the simple fact that mommy is a belly sleeper and so is baby? Now I know that the current sleeping position for babies is back, but I know that changes regularly and made a choice based on Knox. He could lift his head from birth and by the time I decided to put him on his belly could lift and turn his head, roll over and scoot, this and the fact that I have a angel care baby monitor made me feel safe and secure with my choice to put Knox on his belly. My now functioning brain thanks me lol.

There are tons of decisions to be made and even more opinions ready to be shared. Do you circumcise, make your own food, breast feed, cloth diaper, how often to do tummy time, how much stimulation, when to introduce bed time routines etc etc etc... The list is endless!  Best advice I got was to have a plan and be absolutely prepared to toss it and start fresh. I am glad I got and took this advice as I needed it during labor and with some of my decisions so far as a parent.

My Happy Boy Loving his food

I had every intention to breast feed Knox until at least six months and then introduce foods and wean. However my super baby has a super appetite and I was breast feeding him every 1.5-2 hours and he never really seemed satisfied. This can become exhausting when all you seem to do is breast feed. So at just a week over 4 months we introduced Knox to solids. Again we made this choice after much reading and knowing that Knox was absolutely ready to eat (being able to hold himself up and showing all signs he was ready). Once he was introduced to food the way he breast fed became different, almost aggressive. So after months of non stop feeding and an aggressive eater I decided to start weaning him earlier then intended. At first I felt guilty and selfish that I was weaning him before 6 months, but then I saw how great Knox was doing on the bottle and how much more time Ryan was getting with him. I feel much better about my decision and Knox loves his food and is already trying to hold his own bottle and drinking out of a sippy cup.

As new parents it can be easy to get pressured into doing what your told is best for baby, but shouldn't you be who knows your baby best? If every baby was exactly the same then it would make sense to treat them exactly the same, but they are not so shouldn't we care for them as individuals and make choices as we go? This is how i've approached parenting and I have a happy, healthy baby, so i must be doing something right.


Follow your instincts and do whats right for you and baby, if that choice doesn't seem to work make another. Learn and grow with your baby and you both will be much more relaxed and happy at the end of the day.

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

How do you balance all your roles?

With how busy a world we live in its unrealistic to think that we would only have one role, one purpose in our lives. So as we get older and the roles start adding up, how do you keep balanced?

Recently I have adopted some very important roles aunt, god mother and mommy to my beautiful baby boy. I take these new roles very seriously and love the person they are making me. But what about my old roles, what about who I was before I adopted these new roles? She is still there just hidden under breastfeeding, up all nights, playtime and lots of baby kisses.

At first finding a balance wasn't a big concern of mine, my main concern was figuring out how to be a mom. Knox (my baby boy) is a big eater and not so much a big sleeper, so for the first couple of months it seemed like all I did was nurse, cuddle and try and get a wink of sleep when I could (which is why there was no writing happening lol). Now Knox is four months old and its getting easier to manage and rediscover all my other roles.

My sweet boy Knox

With such an important role as mommy it can be easy to forget that i'm also a daughter, sister, wife, friend, confident, writer, lover, cousin, niece and very important to remember i'm my very own person. So how do I do it, how can I manage? Well thankfully I have an amazing support system and people who love me who have no problem asking for attention or reminding me that I need some me time too. Knox is just so darn cute its hard to step away from the mommy role.

Its important to remember who you are to everyone else in the world, but its also important to remember who you are to yourself. I can see how easy it is to get lost in a new role, how it can completely consume you. So if your in that spot, feeling consumed, step back and analyze the situation. Acknowledge your feelings, its totally normal to feel overwhelmed in a new role. Start small, take little you moments in the day, call your spouse just to say hi or I love you,drop by your friends for a coffee, take up one of those offers for a babysitter, try to get a glimpse of all the things you loved to do before the big change. When we adopt a new role, no matter what it is, we will never be the exactly same person as we were before, we've changed, grown and evolved into anew breed of you. But remember in evolution the thing that evolves doesn't get replaced or changed completely, it slowly adds to itself or removes something to make itself a better being. So add, change or remove but don't forget that you are multi dimensional and more than just one thing.

All your roles make you,  so give and take, ask for help, love all of you and embrace the ever changing creature that is you!

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

Sleep??? Yes Please!

All new parents have experienced sleep deprivation and varying levels, depending on the little ones eating/sleeping patterns. What gets interesting is the things we do when we are deprived of sleep for weeks and things start to show up where they are not supposed to be. What do you mean diaper cream doesn't go in the fridge?

I asked friends of mine what they have done when up late at night with feeding's and diaper changes. Most of the answers where very similar, misplaced items. Milk in the cupboard and cereal in the fridge, diaper cream in the fridge, making something to eat and forgetting about it and going back to bed or forgetting to put a diaper back on the baby (that would be a mess).

Personally I haven't misplaced anything in my fridge, yet, but I did misplace a item. My husband went downstairs to switch out Knox's laundry to the dryer and came back up washer going again and a diaper in his hand. Ryan walked up to me with a neatly bundled up used diaper, I'm thankful I close them up tight, and a big smirk on his face. In the middle of the night I managed to throw the diaper in the wash, instead of in the diaper genie. I have now learnt to open the lid of the diaper genie before commencing a middle of the night change, as to remind myself which basket I need to throw the dirty diaper in. I am still being teased for this.

You start to learn tricks to make things go quicker or easier for you. I have a jug of water and a glass on my kitchen island, so that I can grab a drink on the way by to do a diaper change. Snacks are also readily available on the island, breastfeeding can leave you hungry and thirsty in the middle of the night. Everything I need for middle of the night changes, including new outfit, is out on the change table ready for me.

I've gotten really good at games on my iPhone and have almost mastered most things with one hand; its amazing the things you can get done while breastfeeding.

I am hoping to in the near future be less sleep deprived and aim for bigger than 2 hour sleep chunks. But until my little guy decides he likes sleep better then food, and he loves to eat, I will continue to fumble my way around at all hours of the night getting bye on little sleep. I cant say that I really mind our 3 am mommy, Knox snuggles.

If you've been down this road before share with us your mishaps in the wee hours of the night. What has ended up in fridge or washer?

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

Our Miracle

What do you do when a dream becomes reality? When something you thought for so long wouldn’t, couldn’t happen and then it does? In my scenario I cried, I cried the moment they placed my baby boy on my chest and I heard him for the very first time.

Our dream for the longest time was to have a baby and after over 5 years of trying and being told IVF was our only option we were crushed. Knowing that we would probably never be able to afford the only way we could have a baby together was heart wrenching and drug me through a very sad time. Luckily The New HOT 89.9, an Ottawa radio station, decided to hold a contest called Win a Baby. I entered despite my hubby saying we would probably never be chosen, I had a feeling and was going for it. Then we found out we made top 5 and we were ecstatic but being so close to winning the IVF treatments was beyond nerve racking.  Finally after what felt like the longest week EVER, HOT 89.9 brought in all 5 couples on October 11 2011 and made an announcement that changed all of our lives… We all WON!

I think because not a lot of people know about fertility treatments and movies make IVF look like a 1 day process everyone thought the baby would be instantaneous. But it is a process, and can be a long one at that. We met with our DR at the Ottawa Fertility Centre (OFC) in November and it was decided that I should lose some weight to increase my chances of success. Let me tell you, the best exercise and diet motivation for me ever.  I lost 20lbs and started my round of IVF in January and finished in February. We were lucky enough to meet and stay in contact with the other couples from the contest and went through it all together, an amazing support. Finally in came to the day where we took our pregnancy test at the clinic, I was beyond nervous, but my family and friends had all decided already that it had worked and I was pregnant. Well they were right, I received a very excited phone call from one of the nurses at the OFC and from that moment on our dream started coming true.

Nausea, exhaustion, hip and back problems, nerve issues, months of non-stop Braxton Hicks and sleepless nights couldn’t bring me down, I was having a baby! Every pain or discomfort just made the pregnancy so real for me and every ultrasound brought tears to my eyes. Our little guy was a mover from the get go and I got to feel his flutters fairly early, flutters didn’t last long and pretty soon my belly was dancing all over the place.

To say that we loved our little man before we even knew he existed would be an understatement, but nothing could prepare us for what we would feel as he and my belly grew or for the day we met him.  We were hoping that after so many Braxton Hicks that I would have a quick labor…lol NOPE. My real Contractions started at 5am Thursday morning and he was born Sunday at 11:51am. The nurses all laughed at what a good mood I was in and all made comments about the fact I was smiling in between contractions; even when the 4 different types of drugs we tried wore off and would no longer work. My answer was simple “I’m happy because I know this means I finally get to meet him”. To me every contraction was a step closer to my boy and I was so ready to meet him.

Just a few hours after Knox was born.

The moment finally came where my sweet Knox was born and they placed him on my chest. I was flooded with emotions as he let out his cry and the nurses dried him off. Then we got to do skin to skin and he reached his little hand towards my face and raised his head and opened his eyes… I was done. I couldn’t hold back everything I was feeling and our sweet little man brought momma to tears. No one can prepare you for what you will feel the day you meet your baby.  He’s a week and a half old now and he still brings momma to tears.

It’s amazing to think how many people took part in helping us through our journey. Our amazing family and friends who no matter what were always there for us through the good and bad. The new HOT 89.9 who created such an amazing contest and decided that they couldn’t just choose one couple, thanks to that decision there are now four babies in this world that would otherwise not be.  The Ottawa fertility centre who took such great care of us and helped create our miracle.  And all the absolute strangers and followers who through the contest or this blog came to know our story and supported us through every turn.  We will never be able to thank everyone enough, how do you say thank you for giving us the greatest gift of all?

Knox Ian Napoleon Derouchie

So now Ryan and I are exploring a new chapter of our Fairy Tale, Parenthood. This should be interesting! Can’t wait to share it all with you!

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

2 Week Countdown

What do you do when the one thing you've wanted more than anything in the world for so long is just around the corner? When all that you've hoped, dreamt and wished for is almost in your arms?

12 weeks

Well after over 5 years of trying, a radio station contest, 1 round of IVF and 38 weeks we are almost there. Our little guys due date is coming up just around the corner and we couldn't be more excited!

Its been a bumpy road, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Even though I may have complained along the way, the struggle has made me appreciate every little moment. From the nausea and exhaustion in my first trimester, to the hip and back pain in my last; its all made this experience so real and every symptom and sign has reassured me along the way that I haven't been dreaming.

24 weeks

We are absolutely ready to meet our little miracle and I cannot wait till the day finally comes where my labour is real and I get to meet him; one false labour and a ridiculous amount of braxton hicks have me prepared. The nursery is done, bags are packed and he has a amazing amount of people who cannot wait to meet him.

We are so beyond grateful for the support we have received from family, friends and complete strangers. It has been sometimes overwhelming, but always welcome.

36 weeks

Getting to watch my sweet niece grow over the past 5.5 months has made me even more ready, excited and anxious to have our little one in our arms. If our little guy is anything like our hilarious little Harper we will be doing great!



Knowing that even if he goes overdue in less than a month we get to meet our little man is almost more than I can handle! So until he decides its time or the Dr decides he's overstayed his welcome I will continue to dream and wish for him.

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

Taking time

In the busy lives we lead today how many of us actually take the time to appreciate the people in our lives that make things great? Most of us are so bus, wrapped up or ignorant to how great we actually have it. I think in a society that always wants more its easy to look past what we have that is so amazing, the great people in our lives.

There will always be things that we want to change, things we can complain about or things that may just suck, but on the other side there will always be good that can be focused on.

I have always believed that I am incredibly lucky when it comes to the amazing people in my life, but there are moments when I take a step back and get to truly appreciate how lucky I am. You hear stories of awful in-laws, mean siblings, untrustworthy friends or people who just don't have any kind of support to be seen. When I hear these stories or when I share some of my stories is when I get a glimpse of how great I really have it. I not only have the people in my life that celebrate the good, they are around 24/7 no matter what the mood. Through my struggles, strengths, most joyous moments or epic fails they are always around to cheer me on. When I speak about my wonderfully supportive husband, crazy loving family, generously warm in-laws or fantastically special friend's people tell me how amazing that is and I believe them.

Coming into incredibly unknown territory, parenthood, I am not nervous or scared, I know the kind of love and support that I get will guide me through all the interesting moments that my new adventure will take me. Knowing the kind of support I get makes me incredibly grateful each and every day.

I think everyone should take time to really take it all in, really appreciate all the people in there lives that make it what it is. I think far too often the people get overlooked and we can tend to focus on the things instead.

So take a moment and take stock of the fine people in your life. Who makes you laugh, smile or is willing to share a cry?

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

Who will our baby be?

As my pregnancy progresses I cant help but ask the question, who will he be? I'm sure that I'm not alone in this, that every parent to be has the same question. The absolute wonderment of the little human you are creating and will soon meet.

I wonder what he will look like, what features he will get from me or Ryan. Will he have Ryan's nose or my smile? Seeing as Ryan and I both have dark features, I'm assuming the baby will be the same, but then again who knows.

More than features I'm curious about who he will be, what his personality will be like. Will he be funny, kind, gentle, warm or serious? Will he like trucks, dolls, worms or tea parties?

After waiting so long to get pregnant and have our very own baby the wait of meeting him seems just too long. Even though time has been flying, I just can't wait for the day my little boy is in my arms and we finally get to meet the angel who picked us as parents. I'm sure the day will be here before we know it and ill be wondering where the time went, but until then I get to enjoy all the moments of pregnancy.

I have been lucky enough to feel him move fairly early on and now frequently. He's a mover and that makes me wonder if he will be once he's out. The ultrasound tech, at our last appointment, warned me that if he moves half as much as he does now when he's out ill be in trouble, ill be running lol. I fear that she may be correct. I'm not quite sure when he sleeps; all I know is he sure likes to move.

So until the day that he decides its time to meet us and I get to learn who he is first hand; I can day dream, hope and wonder.

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

And it's a.... Boy or Girl?

Nearly at the half way mark of my pregnancy we finally get to have the big ultrasound, the ultrasound where you get to find out if your baby is a boy or girl, if baby cooperates. Now not everyone wants to find this out, as they like the surprise. My husband and I on the other hand never wait to give gifts and cant stand waiting for news. We decided right away that we wanted to know what our little bundle of joy would be and have been counting down ever since. 

All guesses are in and most people are saying that our little bundle will be a boy, with the few that are standing by the girl prediction. We get asked all the time if we have a preference either way and most people don't believe us when we say that we don't. After waiting for so long and never knowing if our dream of being parents would come true for us a baby is the greatest gift no matter what the gender. We are so excited to find out the gender so we can decorate and shop, shop, shop. Time seems to be flying by and before we know it our little bundle will be here.

So did baby cooperate? Are we thinking hues of blues or pinks?

Our little bundle is a… . Boy! We are over the moon excited and are now talking baby names, nursery themes and planning out are shopping excursion for our little man. He more than cooperated and was moving around non stop. Even the ultrasound tech said he he's like this when he comes out I'll be running lol. 

Getting to the half way mark of my pregnancy flew by in a flash, I am very much so enjoying being pregnant, but cannot wait for the 2nd half to fly by so I can finally meet my precious little angel that we have been waiting for, for oh so long.

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

What pregnancy has taught me... So far!

We all learn from every life experience we have or at least we have the opportunity to learn. I try to take something from my experiences to keep growing as a person. Some deep and some fluffy.

Being pregnant for sure had its ups and downs, but for me so far it has been a fantastic journey. I'm 19 weeks pregnant, almost at the half way point and being my first time I'm learning a lot.

I learnt that maternity clothes are my best friend, they are built for growing bodies and are super comfy.
Not to take everything seriously I read online, my dr laughs at me pretty regularly.
Ask ask ask, always ask if your wondering, better ask a question and know for sure then not know and always be worrying or cause harm.
Find a comfy bra and buy a few when you do!
Bio oil and other creams are wonderful.
What you think are the most amazing things easily get replaced by a heartbeat, picture from an ultrasound or a kick.
Write everything down because your easily distracted.
Share your experiences with your partner to make them feel included.
Tums calcium is wonderful, always have on hand.
Get properly sized at a maternity store, walking in can be overwhelming and they are there to help.
Enjoy every minute of it, cuz time flies.

I feel so lucky that I get to experience the wonder that is pregnancy. All the good, bad and hormonal; I wouldn't trade in for anything. To know that in a few short months I get to meet the baby I have been dreaming of for over six years, feels surreal to me. I am also incredibly lucky to have an incredibly supportive and loving husband who kisses, talks, listens and loves the baby in my belly non stop.

When it all comes down to it I've learnt how much you can love someone you've never met, an idea, a dream. How much the people around you can get attached and invested to that dream. I am loving this journey and cannot wait to see what I get to experience next on it.

Lotsa love,
Natasha

First flutters

There are a whole whack load of changes you go through when your pregnant; physically, emotionally and mentally. Some difficult, not so fun and some magical.

I'm thankfully now in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy and loving it. I've made it through the 24hr nausea and exhaustion. Now I get to experience the fun.

Feeling the first flutter of my babies movements was an incredible moment, one made even more special because I was snuggled on the couch with Ryan and he was rubbing my belly. It was like that fast flutter was the babies way of saying hello to us. Seeing as I'm only 4 months the flutters are not very strong or frequent yet, but I still get those special moments a few times a day where my baby says hello. I cannot wait to have Ryan feel the movements, but that's still a little bit away.

I definitely have to say that pregnancy is one crazy and amazing adventure. What our bodies go through and can feel is incredible. I thank the lucky stars, the ottawa fertility clinic and hot 89.8 every day that I get to be apart of this adventure. I only hope that anyone who wants to experience this kind of blind love gets to some day.

Lotsa Love,
Natasha

I'm a dreamer

I have often wandered what my dreams mean, do they come from a fear, desire or from the creative part of my brain. There are tons of books or sites that will tell you what your dream meant, but can a dream just be a dream?

Lately all I dream about is food, I then wake up and crave the food I have dreamt about. Now do I have some sort of fear or obsession with food, does food represent something else? Or is it simply because I am three months pregnant and hungry all the time?

Thankfully my dream food cravings have all been very healthy; like berries, Greek salad, tomato sandwiches, v8 or fajitas. I think my cravings have actually made me eat healthier then I did before I started dream craving lol. I thankfully have yet to have a weird or crazy mixture craving like i've heard so much about, so far my food groups remain separate lol. Oddly enough meat seams to be the only thing that i've periodically had aversions to, I normally could live off of meat, every once in a while I will think about what to make or walk past the butcher section of the grocery store and get completely turned off, however this normally only last a day or so and I'm back to normal.

This has been a new occurrence in my pregnancy, id say within the past few weeks. I've heard about pregnancy cravings before but never ones that came in a dream…lol  Maybe it's the babies way of telling me its hungry even when I'm sleeping or my brain planning out my next days menu. Either way I am finding this comical and interesting, going with the flow and seeing where it takes me.

So while everyone else dreams of work, some sexy actor or monsters, I will be in food dream land with piles of strawberries or big platters of Lone Star Fajitas all around me. MMMM I think my dreams are better…lol What will you dream of tonight?

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

How your world can be taken over by something so small

When going through anything new or big it's hard to focus on anything else. Hard to talk about, read about, relate to or or even shop regularly.
On Saturday I will be 12 weeks pregnant and seeing as I went through IVF I know every detail and minute of how my pregnancy started. So i have had some time to allow this to creep into my mind. My mind that was once filled with all kinds of things is now filled with baby facts, books, apps for my iPhone, drs appointments, my next ultrasound date, baby names, will it be a boy or girl, how should I decorate the nursery and you get the point lol.
Mine and my husbands world has been flipped and we couldn't be more excited. We know we still have quite the journey ahead but cannot wait to meet our little one. Thankfully Ryan's sister is do any time now and the prospect of her little girl coming into this world has me a little distracted.
Because everyone knew we were going through IVF and knew when we were going in for our blood work; everyone found out with us that the round took at just over 4 weeks. So our families and friends have had lots of time to celebrate and now they start to shop lol.
It seems like as my tummy starts to grow and my scar tissue painfully stretches I am becoming more and more accepting of the actual fact I am pregnant lol. The things I look forward to now are maternity shopping, ultrasound dates, when I can hear the heart beat again and getting stuff for our little miracle. My brain has become mushy with baby lol.
Time seems to be flying by and I can't believe that three months are already almost here and gone. Maybe my hormonal brain will let me think about something else in the near future, but until then I'm enjoying swimming in the happiness that is being pregnant.
Lotsa Love,
Natasha

The sweetest sound

There are not many sounds that I can say stop me in my tracks, bring me to tears and warm my heart all at the same time. Just this past week I got to hear one of those sounds for the very first time, the sound of my babies heartbeat. One perfect, fast, loud heartbeat, that stole my heart.

After years of struggling and disappointment, no matter what your trying to achieve, after a while I think you become more used to the disappointment and not the positive. So even though the bloating, exhaustion, nausea and very small baby bump remind me every day that I am pregnant, there are days when I don't really think its sunk in. Then I go to my first Drs appointment and I'm told not to get my hopes up that you cant always hear the heartbeat at ten weeks. So I lay waiting, not getting my hopes up until I heard the most perfect sound I will ever hear, the heartbeat of my baby.

My husband was unable to make it to my appointment, of course one of the only appointments he missed throughout our whole IVF process. Fortunately my Dr allowed me to record the sound on my phone and I was able to share the wonderful sound with my Husband and our families. I think he has now listened to it over 30 times.

Its crazy how sometimes even though you know something to be true it takes a whole lot of proof for it to sink in. I may be in the delivery room before it has fully sunk in for me…lol. Luckily I have my husband who very lovingly gives my belly kisses goodnight, every night, to remind me.

So I guess what I need to learn is to accept the good in, without undeniable proof. The enjoy the good times and to just go along for the ride. We cant control everything and sometimes we just need to go with the flow.

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

Big Little Announcement - IVF update

 For those of you who don't live in the Ottawa area or listen to the New Hot 89.9, you may have missed our BIG little announcement. After years and years of trying, entering and winning the Win a Baby contest and going through one round of IVF my husband Ryan and I are extremely excited to say that we are expecting our first little bundle of joy. I AM PREGNANT!!!!!

Words can not express how excited we are. There are days when I wake up and its not until the nausea and exhaustion kicks in that I believe that im really pregnant.

We are expecting our little one on November 10th and I know its still far away, but I cannot wait to meet the baby I have been dreaming of for so long. Every night my husband says goodnight to the baby and kisses my tummy goodnight, I fall asleep and dream of what he or she might be like, what features of mine or Ryan's it may have or if it will be a girl or boy.

A year ago I wouldn't have guessed that this is where I would be today. After struggling for so long a part of you looses hope and stops dreaming all together. Its nice to be dreaming again.

The day we got the phone call from the clinic giving us the amazing news is a day we will never forget. I have to give the highest praises to the Ottawa Fertility Centre for their amazing care. From beginning to end, they were absolutely amazing to us.

I cant wait to share this amazing new journey with all of you.

Lotsa Love,

Natasha

Babe Lesson

Children have this uncensored honesty about them. It’s no wonder that we are fascinated by the “crazy” things children say. As we get older we learn that we need to filter, but oh how it would be nice to be unrestricted without consequences again.

 Obviously as an adult there are certain situations in which the censor is crucial. Could you imagine getting mad at your boss and calling them a “stinky poop face”? Probably wouldn’t work out in your favor.

One area that I think we could adapt to their brutal honesty is expressing how we feel. When a child is hungry, tired, angry, and mad or no longer your friend, they tell you point blank. There is no second guessing or trying to interpret someone’s actions. Now I think that we would definitely need to add some finesse. I don’t know that going up to your friend and telling them their stupid because they hurt your feelings would be effective. Maybe try instead explaining how you feel and go from there.

 As adults we start to worry about what everyone else will think, feel or react and instead of dealing with an issue, we can bottle it up. Then we end up internalizing it and the person never knows why we were mad, they just think that we are being standoffish for no reason. At what age do we go from verbal explosions of feelings to internalizing everything at the supposed benefit of someone else?

 When you really think about it you are hurting both yourself and the person your upset with by withholding your feelings. If that person doesn’t know, the behaviour or action can continue and draw a rift in your relationship.  In one of my healthiest relationships we tell each other how we feel, we’ve gotten to a place where we can say “You’re being cranky…why?” and its accepted because we know it’s not coming from a bad place.

 So try it out sometime (in appropriate situations), if your feelings get hurt tell the person how you feel, try to come from a place where you are expressing your feelings instead blaming the person. Remember as children we could say anything to our friends, get mad, tell them there mean or whatever, have an epic (at the time) falling out and then next day be back to being best friends.

 Let go of the resentment, express your feelings, and take what people are saying at face value instead of reading into everything. Learn this valuable lesson from the little you who wasn’t afraid of saying that their feelings are hurt. Let’s learn this lesson from the babes.