Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Got Anger?

Many people think that anger is a bad thing, but I think anger (like any other emotion) is just our body trying to tell us something. If we can catch it before it takes over and just listen to what it is telling us we can really learn something from the experience.
I don’t know how many times I have had a conversation with my husband that goes a little something like this; me “Ahh I don’t even care anymore, I’m tired of talking about this!” This leads to him chuckling and proving that once again he may have a point by saying “Yes you do, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be angry about it”.  I would never admit it to him (expect for when he reads this, hi honey) that he’s right. I wouldn’t let something or someone stress me out or anger me if I didn’t care about the person or situation. There have been times when I’ve been so hurt and angry about a situation and it is only then that I realized how much I cared.
Anger is a tricky emotion and I say it’s tricky only because most people don’t know how to handle it. We bury it, misplace it, push it away ‘claiming’ we’ve forgotten it. But eventually, an incident will spark that previous memory to explode onto the surface making the situation far more complicated. Some people hold on to anger so long that long after the situation is passed they are still being poisoned by the effects of holding onto it, causing themselves way more damage and exasperated energy then had they dealt with it when it first happened.
It can be easy to deflect or misplace anger onto another person or situation, because we are not willing or don’t know how to dig deeper and figure out the root cause. Anger is an emotion that gets worse when avoided, so I recommend not too… I see anger as a volcano; it can only stay dormant so long one day it’s bound to erupt.
I have held on to anger before because I didn’t know how to say the words I needed to or wasn’t sure how the outcome of the conversation would end up. We cannot predict how things will go, but I have seen firsthand what it’s like to hold on until you cannot any longer and that is not pretty.
I always try to approach each anger situation with explaining how my feelings were affected in the process, hoping that the person I am speaking to will react empathetically rather than defensively. Striking someone with negative remarks or low blows because you’re angry (eventhough it might feel great at the time!) will only complicate the issue and cause further pain on an already strained relationship.
Like any other emotion we need to look within and find out the why; why am I angry? When we start to decipher the scenario ourselves we can work though it on our own, sometimes severe venting is required and then there is the times when the only way to resolve the anger is by expressing your feelings with the person they are directed act. I cannot tell you how it will work out in the end, but I do know that it’s a lot better than holding on and having it eat away at you.
Use anger as a tool, as a compass to let you know when something is not right and bothering you. Get connected to why you feel the way you do and have healthy conversations rather than explosive freak outs. If we get connected to all of our emotions and realize where they come from and why we feel the way we do the world will be a lot less confusing and you’ll feel overall more relaxed and empowered that you can handle any situations that are thrown your way.
Replace blame with inward reflection and words of feelings and anger will be a much easier emotion to tackle.

Lotsa Love,

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day off dilemma

When the work week is done and you’re not running to classes, sports, meetings or events how do you choose to spend your days off?
Our work weeks are packed enough but we still add on events, fundraisers, birthdays and classes that an actual day off without plans and responsibilities are rare. When these days finally grace us with their presence how do you spend your time?
Do you catch up on left behind chores from the work week and get in a bit of spring cleaning? Even though I know this is what I should be doing with my free time I hate to give myself over, my rare free time, to cleaning and organizing. I feel like I need to rebel sometimes from the never ending pile of things to do or I may go insane. It’s no fun being responsible and “grown up” all the time anyways.
Do you catch up on your hobbies or practice a craft? Painting, knitting, guitar or writing can be a nice distraction from the day to day hectic schedule that many of us lead. But I know many people that cannot focus or put all their attention into a hobby unless everything around them is just so and they feel like they are allowed to give in to some them time.
How about taking a day strictly to be lazy? Sleep in way past your regular wake up time, stay in your jammies, a day full of comfort food, naps, movies and a pvr full of TV shows can be just what the Dr. ordered. How many of us can give over to an entire day where we feel like nothing has been accomplished or has it? Can we not consider recharging an accomplishment?
Then there are those days where we manage to have the perfect combo of it all, I think its learning how to have that perfect balance, like as in everything else in life. The skill to be able to get stuff done around the house, recharge so were ready for the new work week and give a little to ourselves by allowing  for time to do what makes us happy.
We try to pack every moment of our lives but at some point we need to be able to go with the flow and if that flow takes us to a hammock with a book or cutting the lawn so we can play out back with the dog, make sure there is a good balance in the day. Life is not a giant list that needs to be completed, its moments and unknown journeys that we have yet to stumble upon. How can we find new things and explore the unknown when we are micromanaging and planning every moment we have?
We are always getting ready to live but never living. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lotsa Love,


Saturday, May 21, 2011

It’s the End of the World as we know it, and I feel fine? -Charly

Yet again we are faced with another end of the world countdown, yet the sun is shining, the birds are singing and we have finally been graced with a true spring day. So why is there this looming of an Apocalypse a mere 2.5 hours away?
This last week has been trying my patience with the copious amount of rain and on the day of the Apocalypse I have a light bounce in my step! Hardly seems likely that with the looming dread I would feel so fine! Is that an indication that I can’t predict the future (yes!) or is it that the end of the world seems very unlikely? (yes!)
All believers are welcome to say “I told you so!” if our world turns into sudden catastrophe, but until then I will enjoy what I have been graced with today, which is the sunshine, the warmth and the chance to spend time again with people I love.
Any day we can be hit with tragedies in our own lives, so instead of counting down until something bad happens, put your energy into all the good things and good people that are around you.
Tick, tock, tick, tock, say goodbye to the catastrophe clock.

Virtual High Five!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Summer Loving

Party Weekend!

With May creeping to an end and the ridiculous amount of rain we have been getting, I cannot do anything but dream and wait for summer. One of my favourite places in the world is my family’s cottage, this summer will be the 25th summer we have had there and all the memories that go with it make it a treasured part of who I am.

I fell in love with water and the stars from the same dock that we dive off of today and even though  I’m older and don’t have to wear flotties anymore (sometimes do when to many margaritas are involved), I still get that childlike glee when I know its cottage time.

Bailey and Bella rescuing sticks!
As an adult it has become a big part of my friends summers as well; birthdays, sad days, much needed getaways and even honeymoons and anniversaries have been spent at the Sinclair/Kearney cottage. It’s one of those places that morphs and becomes part of your soul, when your away to long you miss it. The hammocks, bonfires, gorgeous view, clean water and always great food, drink and company.

So seeing as it is now mid-May and the rain has kept me from going up to my cottage(roads are washed out), I am itching to go. It doesn’t even matter to me if when I’m there if it’s raining or if the sun is shining you can barely drag me away from the water. My mom calls me her fish, even a near drowning water skiing incident when I was very young couldn’t keep me away from the water, my mom tells me that once she knew I was ok she was terrified that it would cause a fear for me of the water, but no soon as I recovered I was back doing cannon balls from the top dock and choreographing water routines with pool noodles.
Girls weekend,
 we found my dads hat collection!

The scratches and bruises from playing in the forest, forts and ropes off of giant rocks into the water, our 50 ft. water slide called the silver bullet, crazy day long trips to secret passages to other lakes and late nights by the bonfire is just scratches of the surface of memories I have shared with family and friends. I cannot wait to someday have children and introduce them to their lifetime of memories there as well.
View from the top dock!

So I urge you Mr Sun please come out and dry up all the rain so we can open my cottage and I can be reunited with my favourite place to play and relax. I cannot wait until I get to pack up the car, get poutine on the way (of course), stop at the depeneur, watch the excitement from my dog build as we get closer to the water and she can smell the cottage and finally arrive to the magical place that has very much help build who I am today.  


Lotsa Love,


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

When is enough, enough?

Over the years I have learned that in order for other people to respect me and my boundaries that I have to be the one to respect and obey them first. There are some people in life that give give give and don’t know how to take, others only know how to take and then there are those who have learned the magical balance of boundaries, respect and the fine art of give and take. Where do you fit in all of this and have you learned to respect your own boundaries?
I like to take care of people and as a result of that I was taken advantage of more times than I can count, even from some of my family members who were looking out for themselves. I have since grown a much thicker skin and even though some of my decisions to respect myself and my boundaries hurt me, I know that in the long run its best for me and my overall sanity and well-being.
My mom is one of those people who give and give until there when there is nothing left for her to give, she would then give you the shirt off of her back. She grew up having to be the parent figure in all of her sisters lives and is still trying to be that figure. Unfortunately in some situations she continuously gets hurt and taken advantage of because they know she will always be there and my mom won’t say no.
My mom is one out of five girls in her family and I currently only talking to one of my aunts. My mom and I have had many discussions about this. Her side is always “But they are Family” and mine vary depending on how exhausted I am about the topic or what new mud they are currently dragging my mom through. My overall point to my mom is that because they are family they should treat you better than anyone else, they should have your back, they shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself and after all the years of constant adoration and support there should be some mutual respect.
I understand family is important, But I believe that the word “Family” is often used as a weapon of guilt and being “Family” is more than just blood.
With everything wrong in the world and everything we go through in our lives True Family supports and cares and will be there for you in a flash if necessary. I may have had to make some hard choices with whom I talk to in my mom’s family, but I am lucky with the ones I still do talk to. They make up for all the other bad and that I am incredibly lucky with the family I married into and my extended family my close knit group of friends that I know without a doubt would have my back in an instant without second thought.
Trust, love and respect are not deserved, they are earned. I’m not saying I’m perfect or that I’m stone cold and cut people off without second thought. My decisions to cut people off from my life have been hard and weigh heavily with me, but I know that I want good things in my life. I want happy times, positive influences and to be able to trust all of those around me.  When it comes down to it you have to put yourself first, protect you and the ones you love. Decide when enough is enough and respect yourself enough to stand by your decisions.
Boundaries and guard rails are there for a reason, to protect us! Live life to the fullest and know when it’s a good thing to step out on the ledge and trust and when it’s time to put the safety guard up and say no!

Lotsa Love,

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Everyone has had at least one conversation in their lifetime that starts with "what would you do if you won millions of dollars?", so i want to know what would you do? 

With all the lotteries in every country it is easy to get lost in the idea of striking it Rich; Winning millions and getting the easy payout. 

I have had my fair share of these conversations, some a bit more practical then others. 

The irrational magical ones tend to be more fun, because their well-magical. Castles, glass towers, underground tunnels to bff's castles, moats to keep out evil and a wine cellar (yes these are my adult conversations). 

These conversations are the best because it's usually with my close group of friends, a few drinks and rampant imaginations. 

The more practical conversations include the boring mature stuff like investing, trust funds and financial planners. Yuck eh... No fun! 

Then there is the somewhere in the middle probable truth of shopping, smart saving, traveling(everywhere), freedom of working at all of our dreams, charity, a maid named Fifi and a glass tower (that ones a must). One think that sticks out to me the most out of all our very special conversations is that we all would still stick together; date nights every week with a slight change of location (Paris), living not only in the same township but the same estate and forever playing games in our glass tower instead of one of our living rooms. I know everyone likes to think that winning or earning that kind of money would never change them, but I think that's highly unrealistic. 

What I choose to believe is that of course it will change you one day your slaving at a job that does nothing for you just getting by and the next you have 50 million dollars, change is inevitable. But you don't have to change for the worse, you can change and better yourself and everyone around you. Like in everything else in life we have the choice on how we want to approach a situation. I would approach 50 million dollars with some cute shoes, a personal trainer and trying to make a difference in other people's lives. 

What would you do? Can you imagine?

Lotsa Love,

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Laugh Out Loud

We have all heard the expression “Laughter is the best medicine”, weather we choose to believe the science behind it or the spiritual side; who can deny the awesome power of a laugh?

When we are sick, sad or stressed it can be easy to fall prisoner to a pity party for one or have our face morph into a stone pouty statue.  But instead of hiding away or being overtaken by that which is bothering us, isn’t it better to surround ourselves with shiny happy people and things. Granted I know just as well as anyone there are times when being alone is definitely needed, but at some point we have to realize when we need to reach out for help and take it when offered.

Family Love!
Scientist say that laughter can actually make physical changes in the body (no and not just laugh lines). They say that humour can diminish stress, relieve pain and even strengthen you immune system.  I also believe that laughter helps create abs, if done correctly! ;)

So one would ask if laughing, fun and simply smiling have such amazing side effects why are there so many sour pusses in the world? Now I’m not delusional I don’t think that simply laughing can cure the world of all its problems, but isn’t it a nice start?

I may not be able to cure the world with laughter but I definitely can work on you and all my family and friends.  Yes, even if it means to continue to post embarrassing pictures and reveal hilarious facts about myself…I will do it! Because if we cannot laugh at ourselves an embrace who we are with all the silly flaws then what the point of laughing at all?

Common...You know you wanna laugh!
So do me a favour, don’t delete all the imperfect pictures off of your cameras, keep them as a reminder that no you’re not perfect and that is ok.  Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, it can be fun…trust me! When you’re feeling down or stressed don’t go it alone reach out to a friend or family member that makes you laugh and feel great about being you.

In life we have to deal with some not so pleasant things but, that doesn’t mean our lives have to be not so pleasant!

Because, you just don't want to live life, you want to live it in Color! 

Lotsa Love,

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Rockin Out

Relay for Life 2010 Caitlin, Me and Charly!
What better then to combine dancing, friends, costumes (optional) and a great cause? That’s what we thought when we decided that for our group fundraiser this year we were going to hold the Rock Around the Clock Fundraiser dance for the Relay for Life in Maxville ON, in support of Cancer Research.
This will be my teams third year participating together in the Maxville Relay for Life. We are a team of family and friends that are already planning the next year as we walk tiredly to our cars after walking all night long. Are group in comprised of survivors, family members of survivors, people who have lost loved ones to cancer and those whose sole purpose is to raise money for a cause that affects so many people.
For those of you who don’t know of the Relay for Life, it is held all over in various venues for the purpose of raising money for cancer research. I participate in one located in Maxville ON every June. Teams fundraise all year for this night where we all get together and participate in a twelve hour walk. We walk from seven pm to seven am and get to dress up for team laps and participate in activities throughout the evening. It’s an emotional night with the survivor lap and luminaries (bags lit up with names in memory of loved ones or of cancer survivors) surrounding the track. It’s an amazing event that everyone should experience at least once.
So back to our party, we are holding our fundraiser event this year at the Maxville Sports Complex in Maxville, ON.  The theme “Rock around the clock” is hoping to inspire people to dress up (and win some prizes) as rockers from all genres and decades.  If you’re not the type to dress up, like my husband, still come out and have a great time.  We have a great DJ, a late lunch, tons of great prizes and items to bid on, 50/50 and a bar for those of you wishing to drink (please drink responsibly). Tickets are 10$ per person (kids 10 and under get in free) and can be purchased at the door.
We hope to see you at our great event this year, it is sure to be one to remember. If you can’t make it out but would still like to help out and make a difference click on the link below to be directed to the Canadian Cancer Society’s web site and donate to a great cause.
Any questions dont hesitate to msg me, tweet me or email me I hope to see you all there , save me a dance!
Lotsa Love,
Donate to the Relay for Life

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

And they call it puppy love

They don’t call them man’s best friend for no reason! You know who I’m talking about, the furry, affectionate and always loving pets; dogs.
Ever since I was six and got a puppy in place of a bunny on Easter, my family has always had a dog or three. My family has a big fenced in yard in the country perfect for big dogs to run in play and get all the exercise they need. When I moved from home I lived in various apartments spanning from Jasper, Toronto and Cornwall; none of them (to me) fitting of a dog. So naturally as soon as we moved from our apartment into our house in the country with a big back yard, I had my husband convinced a dog was needed within a month and a half.
So we welcomed Bailey, our Lab/Retriever, into our world and it has never been the same since. Bailey is currently around ninety lbs and thinks she is a lap dog or a human, depending on the day.
I always loved all my family pets, but I never understood the crazy connection (people talking about their pets like children) until we got bailey. She was a measly ten pounds when we got her and she grew tall so fast it seemed like her body would never stretch out to her height, but it did.


Bailey, my husband and I had an immediate connection. I had found a picture of the most beautiful blonde fluff balls online and decided to call to see if they had any left, bailey was the last short haired female they had, so we made the drive to Hawkesbury (forty five minutes each way). We walked into the house and a herd of puppies came running at us, hard to choose right, I did not see many short haired dogs in the pack so I looked around. As soon as this one little puppy was sure the others had distracted the humans she made a dash for the table where the treats were struggled to get up and then grabbed the whole package and tried to make her run for it.  I snatched her up looked into her eyes and asked her if she wanted to come home with us, I got a puppy lick right across my face (we took it as a yes) and that was it. On the car ride home bailey slept on my lap while stretching one or her paws out to touch my husband’s arm at the same time.  That has remained her favourite place cuddled between the two of us.
At the time we got Bailey it was one of the first times my Mom and Dad hadn’t had a dog and there were only two dogs on my husband’s side. The day after we got bailey my mom and dad came to visit and within a half hour I was making the same trip with my family to Hawkesbury, there we got my families dog Zoey a crazy long haired version of bailey, after that puppies sort of fell into place every six to nine months.  Now we have a whole family of crazy loving dogs, mostly crazy lol, you should see our get-togethers!

My Cuddle Bear Bailey 

Now that I have had Bailey in our life for over four years now I can’t imagine it without her. She’s the best cuddler, my protector, she lays by be when I’m sad, guards me when I’m sick and is always so incredibly happy to see me every single time.  My husband and I have yet been able to have children so Bailey has been an amazing surrogate.  She makes us happy and gives us incredible unconditional love, without her my world would be a much darker place.
So it pains me when I go to pet stores and see puppies locked in small cages, commercials for abused animals or every time I drive past the OSPCA.  I can’t imagine ever hurting an animal or getting one and not giving it the love and attention it needs.
So do me a favour, if you have a pet get it fixed the world does not need more puppies and kittens right now, there’s tons that need love.  If you have room in your heart and home, adopt a pet they can give so much love and happiness to a family. If you can’t adopt a pet right now, but want to give some love try volunteering at an animal shelter or OSPCA or even donating, I know that they are always in need of all the above.
Even though they may be loud, animals cannot speak for themselves, so we have to speak for them. Share the love with a pet and I guarantee you will get more back then you ever imagined.
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~ Immanual Kant
Lotsa Love,

Bella the lab lapdog.

Gucci Pouchi