Thursday, March 17, 2011

Attention Deficit

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all felt like we got the attention we needed from the love in our life? For some of us saying yes we do get it is easy and for others it is a clear no. So how do we get that attention from that person before looking elsewhere?

I have talked about my relationship with my husband before and I have to say that I am very lucky to be with him. Don’t get me wrong there are times I want to strangle him; as far as I’m concerned anyone who says there relationship is perfect and there are never any issues has yet to take a closer look. He tells me I’m beautiful even when I’m sick in the same PJ’s for three days in a row.  I think we both provide each other with the right kind of attention that neither one of us need it from any other source.

Now I’m not saying that when a stranger tells me I look good it is not a great feeling. I think when you’re in a relationship where a person thinks you look great, when really you look like a scary troll on that day, you may start to think that they are just saying it or that they have to say it.  So when a complete stranger who owes you no complements and doesn’t have to deal with you at home stops you on the street to compliment you it’s a great feeling.

But that is not the kind of attention I’m talking about, when someone catcalls you, it’s not because you went after them for it. What I’m talking about, is when someone is in a relationship and doesn’t feel they’re getting what they need so they look elsewhere. Believe me this does not resolve or help the situation. You may feel good in the moment that you went and solicited attention from someone else. But when you really get down to it that feeling won’t last and you’re still left in that same situation, with maybe a little friend tagging along called guilt.

Instead my recommendation is to look deeper and find out why you’re feeling unappreciated. Is it your partner who is neglecting you or is it you not seeing when your partner is singing your praise? Sometimes when we have confidence issues it is easier to take a compliment from someone unknown because, they don’t really know what they’re talking about or you don’t have any emotional connection to them. Sometimes looking at ourselves can resolve most problems and it is a lot better going into a conversation from a place of feeling, then of blame.

Whatever your situation is listen to what people are saying. Instead of brushing off a compliment, appreciate it and take it in. Listen with your ears and your heart and you may catch on to something you had missed before.

Lotsa Love,

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