1,2,3 Magic

Anytime I get mad at my husband he will do the simplest thing of counting to three. It sounds ridiculous, like how could that solve anything? But it's actually really cute. He'll hold up his index finger and say "1...you know you want to smile, 2...don't fight it, 3..." before he can even add another clever antidote I start smiling and more often than not-laughing. I think it's partly the childish nature of it and the face he makes when he does it. I don't remember how it started, but now when he does it he doesn't even make it to 3 and I've already forgotten what we were fighting about.

 This tradition has even passed on to my sister. My husband just needs to hold up his index finger and let one of his big smiles go and Ashley is in immediate laughter. This makes me think that the things that we tend to get mad at regularly are pretty silly after all. If my husband simply counting can bring a smile to my face and make me forget what I was mad at then guess I shouldn’t have been mad after all.

 As a note of caution however, I do not recommend this for everyone. This could possibly back fire depending on the person’s personality and what they are angry about. What I do recommend is the next time you are mad, before you explode, count to three. In that time think about what your mad at, why your mad and if you’re mad at that particular situation or something else altogether. You may realize in that time that you’re not mad at that person, but frustrated with other things that might need to be explored. You may be mad at that person, but realize it’s better to talk to them, rather than explode. (But if in some way you feel terribly wronged, then by all means an explosion of epic proportions may be called for!) 

I am not saying that my husband and I are perfect and never fight. I don’t think my husband would actually try to count if he knew it was a big fight or something we couldn’t simply talk out. Ever since he started this ritual it has actually opened our lines of communication a lot more. Instead of blowing up at each other and feelings getting hurt, we go through our little counting process I tell him it sucks that I can’t be mad at him and then we talk about whatever it was we were going to fight about.

 So maybe this process won’t work for you, but maybe just maybe, next time you’re about to get into a tiff over something silly just remember 1-you know you want to smile, 2...don’t fight it…3...J

Lotsa Love,

Natasha